Sometimes you just need to treasure the ponders of your heart...

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

We're Having a Baby...

I still wake up every morning surprised to discover that I'm pregnant.  That rounded belly greets me with a little huff and puff as I struggle to sit up and re-orient myself to a body different than it felt in my dreams.  With all the crazy (seriously crazy) dreams pregnancy has thrown at me, I haven't consistently dreamed of me walking around with a pregnant body.

I have dreamed of:
  • Having pink baby teeth that kept falling out  (nervous about a big {pink} change much?)
  • My baby girl loving my mother more than me and demanding that she be her mother (nervous about being a mother much??)
  • Giving birth to Thumbelina, fully "grown" yet tiny, and fully clothed (ummm....??)
  • Having a baby girl who is purple and I name her "Naomi Marie" but she won't stay where I put her.  I decide I don't want her named after me anymore and that she's young enough that she won't mind if I change her name.  I then defend her from a poisonous cockroach.
  • I tour a hospital, but horrible things keep happening - a car crash inside, a shoot-out, baby mix-ups, doctors leaving...
It's no wonder I have trouble sleeping!

We did actually tour the hospital where I'll deliver on Monday.  Incredibly surreal.  I kept thinking, "We're here because I am going to be giving birth to our BABY."   It's a very nice hospital with spacious, private, and even beautiful delivery suites - with (my favorite part) jacuzzi tubs in each room.  That's where I'll be!  The postpartum rooms are nice, a tad dated, but still spacious and private with a nice roll-a-way bed for Landon...and room service for me. I'm looking forward to that New York Strip on the menu.

The tour guide was super nice and oddly empowering.  She kept encouraging us to take charge of the delivery process and our environment.  Is it too bright?  You control the light switches -- even have them all off if needed, except for the two spotlights that aim at the bottom of the bed for the doctor to see.  My daughter born in the spotlight?  Seems fitting.  Is it too warm?  Change the temperature.  Don't feel chained to the bed.  Go for a walk, soak in the tub, sit on the birthing ball.  Don't feel pressured to wear the provided gown.  Bring your own clothes if you like.  You are not a sick person!  I appreciated it so much because I really do hate hospitals and doctors and everything that goes along with them (sorry, Bri!)!  Why are we going the hospital route, then?  Well, our insurance doesn't cover the midwife/birthing center route, plus when it comes down to it, if something were to go wrong, I want to feel assured that there are people who are equipped to handle it -- rather than sending us to a hospital in an ambulance.  Plus, I really like my doctor and she doesn't do birthing centers.  So there you have it. :)

The funniest part of the whole tour, though, was the silence of the group.  There were about 5 other expectant couples and, man alive, were they quiet!  We rode up in an elevator with 2 couples....silently.  Then Landon said, "Well, congratulations everyone!!"  We got a few half-hearted, almost-whispered responses, ", too...."  Then silence again.  Later, waiting for another elevator I asked one lady when she was due (she looked about my size).  "September."  "Oh, me, too!  The 28th!" I excitedly replied.  "Oh...I'm earlier than that," she said without looking at me.  Well!  Landon and I just laughed about it later.  She really couldn't say the 4th or the 12th or something??  I know due dates are flexible and only guesses, but I didn't realize they were secret!

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I've had quite the entertaining moments lately as my belly rounds up.

*At work a week or so ago, a fellow employee was at my desk.  She pointedly looked down at my belly, looked back up at me, and said, "Are you pregnant??"  I wanted to say, "Aren't you lucky I am???" But I actually said, "Yes, I am!"

*The other night Landon and I were getting dinner at Tokyo Joe's and the girl behind the counter says, "When are you due??"  I said, "September 28th."  She said, "I know that was a risk in asking that way, but you were rubbing your stomach."  Haha...what if I was just hungry....?  She then proceeded to give me advice on how to avoid stretch marks -- she knows because her sister has 6 kids and no stretch marks.

*Also at work, a fellow coworker I know and chat with, but don't know too well, made the effort to walk all the way around my desk (it's kind of big) and plop her hand right on my belly.  No permission, no warning, just me sitting in shock and waiting for it to be over.  She's super nice, but still...  There are three kinds of people -- the kind you know well and don't mind touching without asking, the kind you don't know and will never even think to touch without asking, and everyone else who thinks they fall into the first category.  Not even close.

*Then there was the girl at work who in the middle of our birthday celebration while I am getting 1, 2, 3 scoops of ice cream with my ice cream cookie sandwich, interrupts her conversation and mine to nearly shout in a room full of people, "OH MY GOSH -- YOU'RE STARTING TO SHOW!!!"  My eyebrows shot up and I smiled as much as I could and said, "Yes...I am..."  "OH MY GOSH -- IT'S SO CUTE!!!" Then she proceeded to turn to about five people around her and say, "Isn't it cute??  Don't you think it's cute???  I think it's cute!!  Isn't it cute???"  I grabbed my ice cream and scooted out of there.  Oh boy.  It doesn't help that whenever she walks by me, she says, "How's it goin', Mammio??"  Yeah....not my favorite.

But wanna see what IS my favorite??

Ultrasound - May 16, 2014
That little nose -- those little lips -- that shadowy little heart.  I'm so in love with this little person I haven't met yet!  And 1 John 3:1-2 comes to mind...and melts my heart.  I could get deep on this, but I think I'll save that for a "deep" post. :)

In other news -- I think I am finally starting to feel better.  FINALLY.  And I've gained 17 pounds in 5 months, so not too bad.  Apparently, right on track actually.  I'm 23.5 weeks along and getting more excited to meet this little dancer that rarely stays still.  I love knowing that she's a girl.  It somehow makes it all so much more real to me.  I'm dreaming of curls and names and ballet classes and having so much fun using "she" and "her" pronouns. 

Even though it feels more real, it's all still so surreal.  We keep turning to each other, saying in breathless awe and more than slight bewilderment, "We're having a baby...."  The greatest fun is all her acrobatic movements - feeling them, seeing them, and grabbing Landon's hand just in time for her to stop.  But then he talks to her and she starts right up again.  I'm hoping that once she's here his voice has the opposite effect and actually soothes her to sleep.  I can't imagine it won't; that man could sing me to sleep every night!  (um, in a good way...)

23.5 weeks is more than halfway.  Though summer just arrived, I must say I'm eager for autumn already.  For now, I'll just continue to wait and dream and be overwhelmed by Babies'R'Us (that's a different story!) and enjoy her little kicks and suffer through unwanted hands on my growing belly and eat ice cream whenever she wants it. ;)

23.5 Weeks - June 3, 2014

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